So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize