Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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