Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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