He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I cannot find my penis.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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