Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
