he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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