so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
