Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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