dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
