Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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