We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
