sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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