apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
