can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
