Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
