it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
