she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
