Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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