He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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