you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Damn victory sex feels great
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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