I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize