My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Why can't burritos get me drunk
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
