its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
