i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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