he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
