I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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