They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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