What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
