In the future we'll all be gay
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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