I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dicks are not precious.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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