hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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