he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
