WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
