so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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