Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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