she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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