i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
