sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
