moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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