I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
