my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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