So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
