Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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