Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
