I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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