he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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