Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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