You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
