I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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