Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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