a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize