well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
