So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i've created a new STD.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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