Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
