Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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