When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
