I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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