Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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