i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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