Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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