What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
They have beer where we have blood.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
