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• (831): View more from California

  you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha

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• (315): View more from New York

  Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.

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• (876): View more from Jamaica

  you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom

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• (831): View more from California

  I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably

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• (850): View more from Florida

  You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.

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• (323): View more from California

  Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.

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