I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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