we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
