My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
