Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize