the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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