doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
