it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
