how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
