Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
