Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
