I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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