In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
