I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
